Vivianism #28 & #29


Vivianism #28 I don’t understand all the negativity and complaining of late. Seriously why does everyone have to LOOK for something to be offended by, pissed off at, take issue with, and then proceed to rant about it for days. This world would be a much better place if we LOOKED for the positive in situations, encouraged others, smiled and said a kind word. Just something to think about.


Vivianism #29 I’m guessing most of you have heard the phrase “What others say about me is none of my business”, and I find it to be true. I am a firm believer in karma catching up with those who spread untruths, whether about me or attributing comments to me that they make. I’d like to think that those who know me would do one of two things, 1) ignore it, knowing I’d never say such a thing, or 2) flat out ask me about it and I’ll be glad to set the record straight.



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Words Hurt

In the last 4.5 years of Vivian, we have made our fair share of mistakes. Some of those mistakes were caused by ignorance, some by pride and more recently by emotions. As much as we all attempt to take the high road and let things just roll off our backs some times we fail and allow our temper and feelings to take control.

This happened to the Von Bs a few weeks ago. Things were said that should have NEVER been said. What was said is not important. What is important is that we apologize for our mistakes. Some of the things said were said as a very vicious joke in extremely poor taste. This joke was said out of anger and hot headedness, with no intent of following through.

The other items communicated were how we were feeling at the time. Now I’m not making excuses for what was said or justifying anything. I’m just explaining where all of this came from. All of us at one time or another have said things out of frustration or perceived hurt feelings and later have either regretted them or forgotten that things were even said. In this case both are true for the Von Bs. What was said was honestly forgotten about, however once we were asked about it we regretted we lost control of our emotions and even let our fingers typed those words.

We didn’t broadcast these items on Facebook or say them in public. These were private messages that took place with some one that was perceived to be a friend. For us it was just venting. Something we all have done at one time or another. Friendships, like any relationships have ups and downs. Unfortunately this happens to be a down moment in this friendship. Hopefully time will heal this. If it doesn’t we accept that as a consequence of our behavior.
However please know you will always have our respect and our deepest apologies for causing any hurt feelings.

So please learn from this entry and remember words hurt. Be mindful about what you say, nothing stays private for ever, within time it always gets out. This is something we know and always say. Unfortunately we let our emotions get the best of us and cloud our judgment. All of us fall from time to time. The only thing you can do when you fall is pick yourself and continue on your path. So yes the Von Bs fell, but we are picking ourselves up and moving forward trying to be the best we can to not only our friends, but our community.

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Vivianisms # 1 – 27

So Vivian has been posting what she likes to call her Vivianisms and I thought it would be a good idea to collect them here on the Diary. As you can see her numbering is a little off but she wouldn’t let me correct the numbering:

Vivianism #1 – I’ve sewn 3 or 4 of my own wigs (having been taught by the one and only Tony Cody) I find it much easier to buy them from The SweatShoppe, you see it takes me like 12 hours to sew those tracks on…Tony does it in like an hour. ‪#‎themoreyouknowaboutdrag

 Vivianism #2. I’m still using Max Factor panstick, hoarded stash, Rich Beige. It’s not longer sold in the US, of Max Factor stopped producing for US sales at about the same time Nina & Virginia West were teaching me the fine art of painting a drag face. While there are still places that have some of the other shades still available, mine is gone. Fear not, I’ve got the Kryolan equivalent color identified. Sadly the MF was about $8 tube while Kryolan is nearly $20. Drag ain’t cheap ladyboys…

Vivianism #3 Communication. I was a speech communication and theater major in college…and there are times I still manage to fail to communicate. So instead of just flat out addressing the issue at hand, I stew about it, do just bout anything to avoid unpleasantness. But alas, those actions in and of themselves only serve to compound the problem for all parties. In the drag community, communication is more your lifeline than anything else…trust you me, the

Vivianism #4 (I think…I may or may not have lost count) I’m way overdue. I’m guessing that most of you have seen, or at least heard of the flick “Scent of a Woman”.

Well let’s twist that a bit to “Scent of a Queen”. First off…that “scent” should never be acrid body odor – however faint or strong enuf to take down an elephant, ass or feet. Let’s face it, save that “ripe” shit for your next craigslist advt. Purchase a parfume….doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive…just something to keep you smellin’ good. This NEVER…I repeat N E V E R takes the place of a good deodorant/antiperspirant. Secret, strong enuf for a man right? You’re a man in a dress right? USE some DAMN deodorant. Nothing worse than someone stanking up a whole dressing room. I”ll be as far away from you and aim my fan at you in a hot second. If it’s my show, you can step OUT of the dressing room to get ready…..Lawdy!

My first parfume was a small little bottle, from eBay for $68. Yea, that didn’t last too long, nor did if fly with M.r. Von B…he hated the smell and even more, the price. I tried a $9.99 scent from CVS, not bad, but it didn’t “last” so I got some $10 free gift at Perfumania and I actually LIKED it…so I recently ran out…ugh! So I checked Perfumania’s website, yep, BOGO…$68 for the first, = $34 for the second…lord I knew the M.r. wasn’t gonna go for it…so I waited. I found it on the eBay, $11.99 a bottle, free shipping! SCORE! I ordered 5 bottles. Yep, I did that. Still less than one full price bottle…my witty lil logic was all OVER that shit.

Oddly enuf, the name of said “Scent of Vivian” is none other than “Queen”. Makes me giggle every time I look at that stack of 4 unopened boxes of it on my dresser.

(this is long enough to count at Vivianism’s 4 & 5.) ‪#‎vivianism‬ ‪#‎ramblingsofaqueen

Vivianism #6 (I was afraid if I waited until tomorrow to post, I’d forget it) You get out of this life what you put into it. You shovel crap and negaitivity – that’s what you’ll reap. If you put positive energy, love and light you will be in a great place.

Drama and backbiting and smack talk certainly gets around…so I learned that I really need to just ‘ladyboy” up and resolve things. So to those that I blew it with…my apologies, it was never my intention to make things worse. Mad love and respect to my fellow performers…

 Vivianism #7 – The downside of weekday drag shows is the morning after. While I have no discernible makeup left on my face, I have the puffy, red, itchy eyes as proof of being out past my 7:00 PM bedtime

Vivianism #8 (yes, I double checked, we’re on 8 now) I learn something every single time I attend a drag show. It may be the good, the bad or the ugly, but I take something away each time I see someone perform. It may prompt me to make a change or it may confirm that I’m on the right track. Regardless, I’m always learning.

Vivianism #10 (yes, per Keith Speers I repeated 7) I’m more than a little anal retentive about my jewelry. I have little metal cases for everything, with labels on the top and side. The newest edition to the cases is egg crate foam to hold everything firmly and gently in place. I mean, it ain’t cheap…I’m always cleaning it too…

Vivianism #11 Ugly comes from within. You can paint the best face, wear the most expensive and extravagant costumes, hair & jewelry, but if you’re arrogant, entitled, disprespectful and rude nobody’s got time for that.

Vivianism #12 (I think) Supporting your fellow entertainers isn’t limited to those that appear in a show with you, or a bar with you…it’s really all across the board. Sometimes it’s tough when most shows don’t kick off until 11:00 or so. I always appreciate seeing a friendly face in the crowd…so I try to do the same. I’m committed to making a better effort.

Vivianism #13 Who knew fans came in so many shapes and colors. Feathers are expensive too! If you’re competing in any sort of pageant at anytime in the future…please…do EVERYONE connected with drag (female illusion for you fancier types) a favor and DO NOT have your back up dancers use Feather Fans, Star Fans, ANY kind of fan. Of the top 12 Sunday night, I can name ONE performer who didn’t use them. Maybe one other. Even if 10 of the 12 used them, why would you want to do what everyone else is doing? Stand out and be unique. (and save some serious money)

Vivianism #14 Remember where you came from, and those that helped you get to where you are. It wouldn’t hurt to thank them for their help either! <wink>

Vivianism #14 Marilyn Monroe said Diamonds are a girls best friend. The ADHD dog in the Disney flick “UP” hey look squirrel oooh something SHINY! I’m no different. As evidenced by the jewelry that I’ll be picking up from Nova tomorrow, and the costumes from Patrick & Troy I have a penchant for all things sparkly. I rarely look at non-sparkly fabric these days…my eyes scan the racks at Joann’s for the glitter, the sequins, the eye catching gleam of some reflective quality. I will never forsake my first love…taffeta, plain, wrinkly, flocked…that “swoooosh” it makes as it moves by you…alas. It can be stoned, if needed, or accessorized with fabulously large earrings, rings, bracelet or a necklace. I just….ooooooh look, something shiny……

Vivianism #15 as homage to my 14th Vivianism I now have some stoning to do on a costume for next weekend. I love me some sparkles, shine and such…so it’s time to takeover the living room with a table, chair and my glue syringe…you may want to have some shades ready when the lights hit this one!

Vivianism #16 I am not a fan of Mondays and while I get the whole “it’s a fresh new start to life…it’s still the rudest mofo reminder that my weekend is friggin OVER! <wink>

Vivianism #18 (I’ve lost track again….) I was taught growing up, that above all else, you told the truth. The times that I didn’t do so, did not end well for me. My lessons were well learned.

A couple of sayings; “A liar has no memory.” Think about it, one a yarn is spun, the details change every time the story is repeated.

“All things done in darkness eventually come to light.” Pretty self explanatory. Lies are always found out.

I’ll stick to my upbringing and stand by the truth. I’ve got NO time or place in my life for those who lie.

Vivianism #19 Stoning costumes brings my OCD out in all it’s glory!

Vivianism #20 (yea, no friggin’ clue) You’ve heard “if you build it they will come”….well “If I go there I will buy it”….yep, sequin fabric, 40% off, plus my generous 15% off total purchase coupon….YES I did….I bought the 3 1/4 yards they had left….and I’m not sorry!

Vivianism #21 (nailed this one) Be a man/woman/queen/king of your word. If you say you’re going to do something – do it. Afterall, it IS your reputation on the line, right?

Vivianism #22 (I think) Remember when we our next birthday couldn’t arrive quickly enough? 16 we could drive, 18 we’d graduate from high school, 21 was the legal drinking age….now we develop ailments, reading glasses at 40, 55 membership in AARP, 65 social security (lol, right?) 72 retirement? This year I seem to have developed arthritis in my left elbow….and my father told me that it skipped a generation..

Vivianism #23 (yea, I’ve not no clue where I’m at…. Keith, Curty?) I’ve come up with a new social media site, it’s call “Hatebook”….it’s for those who find it friggin’ impossible to say something nice…and can only focus on the negative in situations. I won’t be a memeber, I won’t administrate…cuz y’all can just destroy each other with your toxic behavior. Now if you’re interested in becoming a member there, DELETE yo’ ass from my fb page. I’m recently too old to deal with your constant drama. Thankfully one left over the bday gift EVER! <wink>

Vivianism #25 (yea, beats me too) RESPECT. There are debates whether it should be given or earned. I guess my school of thought, give it until it’s not earned by the recipient. Bottom line, give it because you WANT to, not because someone says you have to, or demands it. Clearly those types DO NOT deserve it. Be genuine.

Vivianism #26 (which does follow 25) <this relates to #25> When you’re at a venue, don’t dismiss those that you don’t think can be of any use in getting a paid booking. I always try to be friendly to eveyone in a bar, I may not always be 100% successful…none of us can be. BUT, that being said, once you find out who the person booking the acts is, don’t do an about face from ignoring them to kissing ass/sucking up, that just makes you look foolish. You already lost your first impression.

Vivianism #26 When your motivation comes from the right place you cannont help but succeed.

Vivianism #27 We all rally against bullies, Westboro Baptist Church, classmates who eventually wear down children who then try to take thier own lives, with many being successful, yet we have them right in our midst, in our own LGBTQ community…those are the most disgusting of all bullies.



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Busy Busy Von Bs

So this past weekend was CRAZY busy, but it so worth it.

Friday night Vivian had the privilege of hosting an event called Gilly Garage, presented by Movement Activities. If you are not familiar with this group of individuals you really need to be. These amazing artists perform acts that I would never have the skill or courage to do. They perform on trapezes, ropes, lyra, along with tumbling, flipping and even pole dancing.  . Both Vivian and I were blown away by what we saw on Friday night and I know Vivian is hoping to host another show some time soon. It was a fun time and an opportunity to see yet another type of art that Columbus Ohio is home to.

After the Movement Activities show it was off to the Barracks at AWOL to help Hellin Bedd kick off her monthly Zodiac show. As always Vivian and Hellin banter back and forth off and on the mic and the crowd loved it. The bar was packed and had a fantastic time; a big Thank YOU to Christian Larkin and The Mob Wives of Richmond for stopping by. 

When this night ended we were both exhausted but knew we had one more night to get through and neither of sure we were going to make it….but since I’m sitting her writing this entry,  obviously we did….lol.

Saturday night started off with the Freedom to Marry Ohio Benefit that Vivian co-hosted. The show was held at Wall Street Night Club and I have to say it was nice for the Von Bs to be back there. It has been some time since Vivian performed there. The night started off a little rocky with a few of our entertainers running late, but in the end they all made it there and the packed crowd had a fantastic time, even with Vivian’s wardrobe malfunction.

If you haven’t seen the pictures yet be sure to search Facebook for them. Vivian had an amazing Ursula gown made which was consisted of a ton of black and purple ruffles on the skirt. Well the skirt was so heavy that the Velcro closing the skirt did not hold and the skirt fell off a third of the way into Vivian’s number. I have to say I was pleasantly surprise with Vivian’s reaction. Instead of attempting to hold the skirt up she let if fall stepped out of it and continued her number. She turned a malfunction into something everyone will remember.

After the Ursula gown Vivian debuted, her Freedom to Marry dress, which, yes, the idea was influenced by our friend Nina West. Logo dresses are something Vivian does not do, because let’s be honest Nina owns that look, but for this cause we felt it was acceptable. Since every picture of Vivian for that night will further the cause of bringing Marriage Equality to Ohio.

Every entertainer brought their A game and by the end of the night we raised almost $4000. Thank you to everyone that helped make this event so successful!!!!

After the Freedom to Marry event we over to Cavan Irish Pub to help our Ohio Gay Pride Pageantry friends raised money for their Columbus Aids Walk team.  This was once again another packed bar and fun time. By the end of that show Ohio Gay Pride raised $700, $200 over their goal. Congratulations to Ohio Gay Pride and another Thank you to everyone that attended.

On Sunday we vegged pretty much all day.  I’m not quite sure either of us are really all that with it today, but alas, the week marches on!

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Tickets, Tickets

So where will you be on Saturday April 12th?

You should be at Wall Street Night Club, to help bring Marriage Equality to Ohio.

Yes if you want to help this movement then you should come to the Freedom to Marry Benefit Show.

The show starts at 7pm and has some of your favorite Columbus Queens, plus 2 special guests from Rupaul’s Drag Race plus your very own Vivian is hosting, and I’m sure you already know this but she will be debuting 2 brand new costumes.

There is also a surprise guest that will be in attendance from what I have heard. If you want to know who, you will have to attend.

If you need tickets click on this link and purchase them.

Not only will this be a fun show it’s for a great cause.



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Visions of Vivian Updated

The event calendar has been updated.

Check it out!!!!

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So last night the Von Bs went shopping at a brand new shop that opened in Columbus Ohio. It’s called WVS and Vivian got some incredible deals on fabric while there. Actually you will never guess what she paid: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!

Yes you read that correctly! Vivian purchased several yards of fabric at WVS and she didn’t pay a dime for any of it. The selection of fabric was quite varied. There was every color, material and amount. I have to admit I wasn’t thrill about going there last night at the end of running errands but once I saw the receipt I was quite happy. I have no doubt we will be frequenting this new shop again in the very near future. Okay before all you Queens and fabric junkies get too excited. WVS is nothing more than Wonder Viv Studio….lol. We had to stop there last night so Vivian could take care of the costumes she wore over her birthday weekend. While there she starting looking through her totes of fabric to see what she had that she could take down to KY with us on Tuesday when we pick up the next round of costumes.
Well it turned out going through her totes was like a free shopping spree for her because you guessed it there were several yards of fabric that she even forgot she had. SHOCKING I know. You see before Patrick and Troy started making every thing for Vivian she was making her own costumes so she would purchase fabric when ever she found something she liked that was on clearance. In the beginning Vivian had no idea how yards of fabric she needed so she was purchasing 7 – 10 yards, which we came to find out is more than enough, way more than enough. Once she discovered that she just purchased less unless of course it was something she thought she could have a gown made out of.

Once the Von B monthly dragcations to KY started Vivian sort of forgot about all that fabric, until last night that is. Last night she decided she needed to start having items made out of this fabric, hence the free shopping spree at WVS.

If anyone else wants a shopping spree just let me know. We’ll have to keep it on the down low though because if Vivian finds out she’ll have my head….lol.

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Vivian’s Birthday Weekend

So this past weekend wasn’t even my birthday but it took me all of yesterday to recuperate from it…

The weekend started off Friday evening when I posted my proposal via HuffPost Gay Voices and she said YES!!!! Then we went to dinner and saw Captain America: The Winter Solider. If you like Marvel movies you will LOVE this one. It is one of the best ones to date.
Saturday night Vivian joined Hellin Bedd and Helena Troy at Cavan Irish Pub. The crowd was incredible as always. We had a great time. I have said it before and I will say it again when the Bedds and the Von Bs get together it is always a good time. I think the most interesting thing about Saturday night was Hellin had to limit her Fireball Shots because of Sunday’s brunch show, more on that later.

For those not familiar with drag time most shows start in the evening normally around 10 or 11 pm and the Cavan show is no different. It starts at 11 pm and usually ends around 130 am. This isn’t bad because most queens don’t work on Sunday morning so they can drink and even have a little too much to drink if they want. Well this past Saturday that was not the case because Vivian and Hellin, along with Akasha O’Hara Lords, were performing at 11 am on Sunday at Circus Restaurant and Bar’s inaugural Three Ring Drag Brunch. So that meant not too many drinks for those performing on Saturday. When Hellin announced she was limiting herself to 3 shots one of her fans proceeded to bring her 3 shots all at once. It was quite funny.

So after we got home around 230 am on Sunday morning we had to wake up 5 hours later so we could run to Wonder Viv Studio and get costumes for the Brunch Show. Let me tell you this is something we will not be doing again. Even though we had little sleep I have to say it was completely worth it.

The Brunch show was so much fun and I could not been happier with how the audience reacted to all three queens. Every one of them brought it Sunday morning. Yes there were some problems on the service end but most people didn’t seem to mind because the show was so much fun. Once again Vivian was so funny on the mic. She is really coming into her own. Add to that the bantering between her and Hellin and the comedy was flying.

I would also like to say that along with everyone having a fabulous time on Sunday we raised $200 for Freedom to Marry Ohio, an organization committed to bringing Marriage Equality to Ohio.

If you missed this brunch you can catch the next one on May 4th at Circus when Vivian welcomes Miss Ohio Gay Pride, Ashley Austin Ferrah and Miss Ohio USofA at Large, Beth Amphetamine. Food service will begin at 11 am and will be a buffet.

Be sure to reserve your table by calling 614-421-2998.

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The Von B Proposal

For any Vivette who didn’t see this. I posted this via Huffpost Gay Voices on Friday and Vivian said YES!!

So in November of 2013 I wrote a piece called “10 Reasons to Love the Man Behind the Queen” in it I listed the top 10 reasons everyone should love a drag queen. As much as those reasons were based on Jeff I generalized them so they would apply to the majority of Drag Queens. As much as Vivian inspires the Diary Jeff inspires me more. He is some one who I look to for strength and encouragement.
There is not a day that he does not amaze me. Now granted some times I’m amazed by how mad he makes me but let’s be honest that is any relationship and if we didn’t love each other so much we wouldn’t aggravate each other as much as we can. It’s one side effect of love and it’s one I’m perfectly okay with it if it means I have Jeff in my life.

When Jeff and I first met things were very complicated. Part of that complication was caused by our first kiss. Now before Jeff I had my fair share of kisses but I have NEVER experienced one like that kiss before. As cheesy as this may sound it sent shocks through my body. It was at that moment I knew this was more than just a kiss. Some people believe in love at first sight well with Jeff it was love at first kiss. Even to this day his kisses, his touch still sends shocks through my body.

Jeff came into my life at a time when I needed him. To me Jeff was an angel sent to me by my maternal grandmother. I was in a mentally abusive relationship that limped on for 9 years longer than it should have. Jeff helped bring me out of the dark. He showed me I had something to offer not only some one else but the world. He showed me what it was to love and be loved. With Jeff’s love and support I went back to school and received not only my Bachelors but my MBA as well. He also encouraged me to rebuild my relationship with my parents. Words can not express what this means to me.

Jeff not only sees me for the man I am but the man he knows I will become. That kind of inspiration is something I am still not accustomed to but something I am very grateful for. Even through all my flaws and mistakes Jeff is there to help pick me up and put me back on track.

We support each other in everything we do. We are each other’s biggest fans and as cliché as it is best friends. Yes there are times we probably loose sight of this however in the end we always recognize that we are an unstoppable team. We know together we are so much more than separate. I have been told before even when we are bickering there is always love in our eyes when we look at each other. I was surprised when I heard that but I take care pride in knowing that.

I know that in this crazy journey of life I will always have a travel companion who loves me, supports me, and is always there for me. There is nothing we wouldn’t do for one another. We have been there through some incredibly low lows and some amazing high highs. There is not another person on this earth I can see myself with. Jeff is my soul mate, the one who completes me, the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with. If that isn’t love than please some one tell me what is.

Our rings are still being designed but the stars are finally aligning for us to marry in Ohio and I couldn’t wait any longer to ask you to marry me. So with that being said I only have one more thing to say:

Jeff will you marry me and continue this journey we started as my husband?

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Wig-ging Out Wednesday

This Wednesday Vivian welcomes Cassandra Terrace and Deja Dellataro to Club 20.

Show starts at 10:30 pm




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