Diary Of A Drag Queen's Husband

He/She

Posted on May 22, 2013 by diary

Pronouns and Drag can some times get confusing. When some one performs in drag the accepted etiquette is to refer to them by the opposite pronouns. So a woman in drag would be a he and a man in drag would be a she. That in itself isn’t too confusing.

Now the confusion comes from when they are out of drag. Most Drag Queens especially ones that have been performing for a while are normally referred to by their drag name whether they are in or out of drag. So now you have a man not in drag being referred to by their drag name. This is not too confusing when their drag name is a little off the wall but when their drag name is some “normal’ it can get confusing; especially if you are out socializing with a bunch of queens out of drag.

Picture this: Columbus Ohio, Union Café, a group of guys out in public and the majority are referring to each other and answering to female names.

Now if you know they are Drag Queens it makes sense but if you didn’t you would be like WTF. In situations like this I never know what name to use. Half the time I can be heard using their boy name and drag name. I will say a lot of Drag Queens are so used to their drag names that some times they don’t answer to their boy name. This has happened to Vivian more and more when I’m trying to talk to her at home.

Then there are the conversations I have about my drag queen friends or husband with others not in the drag community. I can he heard switching back and forth between he and she when referring to Vivian or other Queens in the same sentence sometimes. I find referring to Jeff by her or her even if I’m discussing him in 100 % non drag ways more often than not. Sometimes I find myself thinking to myself did I really just refer to my husband as a woman.

Others that don’t know Jeff but know Vivian almost always refer to Jeff with female pronouns even if they are talking to me about Jeff as Jeff not Vivian. There is no disrespect meant by them it’s just they know Jeff as Vivian and Vivian is a she to them. I guess in some ways it’s a compliment it means Vivian is a good illusion. On second thought……lol.

So as you can see it’s a crazy world of pronouns when it comes to drag.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Columbus Ohio, Drag, Drag Queens | Leave a comment

This Vivian

Posted on May 21, 2013 by diary

The other day Vivian and I were watching VH-1’s Top 100 Songs of the 90s and I looked over at Vivian and there she was, performing to almost every song that was being counted down. This Vivian I have the privilege of seeing every day. This Vivian is the reason I’m okay with spending a small fortune on costumes, wigs and jewelry. This Vivian, in my humble opinion, could give any Queen out there a run for their money. This Vivian I feel would win any pageant she entered. This Vivian is the one I keep saying “Where is this when you are on stage?”

The Vivian Columbus Ohio has seen is not the Vivian I see. The Vivian I see is larger than life she dances, she is relaxed, she is funny. (Shhh, don’t tell her I said she was funny….lol). The Vivian I get to see can be a giant goof ball one moment and the next a pure DIVA. This Vivian I want Columbus to finally see and know.

Now I’m sure some of you are saying to yourself “yea yea whatever that is just a husband’s love talking” and you are allowed your opinion. Just as I am allowed to say you are mistaken. I am and will always be Vivian’s biggest critic. So if you felt a performance was average trust me I probably felt it wasn’t very good and gave Vivian heck about it. I tell Vivian the absolute truth about her performances. That is the only way she can improve and finally allow the Vivian I know is there to come out.

I don’t know when this Vivian will finally have her coming out in public; however I have a feeling it will be sooner rather than later. During the last several performances Vivian have given, I have seen brief glimpses of this Vivian on stage and it excites me so much. It’s also a coming out I’m willing to wait for and to encourage because when it happens WATCH OUT. When this Vivian finally bursts out no one is going to know what hit them.

I feel everyone deserves to see this Vivian. She will make you laugh and feel good about yourself just like she does for me every day.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Drag, Drag Queen, Vivian, Vivian Von Brokenhymen | Leave a comment

Invisible

Posted on May 17, 2013 by diary

It’s amazing to think that a couple that consists of a 7 foot 300 lb Drag Queen and a loud mouth Italian husband could be invisible, however that is exactly how I feel some days about Vivian and me. It is actually a very interesting place where we are. Through the diary, my pieces for Huffington Post and Vivian’s performances; our life is pretty much on display 24/7. However we are very much invisible.

When I say invisible I don’t mean we aren’t seen because that is not true. Because when we are out and about we run into a ton of people we know. If we post something on Facebook it normally gets acknowledged, especially Vivian. What I’m talking about is that connection to individuals or organizations. We don’t really have that.

A lot of that is probably due to our personalities. I mean let’s face it a Drag Queen married to an Italian. That is some pretty intense personalities radiating from that pairing. I’m sure most people don’t know what to make of us and others I’m sure we scare away. Both of us are very opinionated, I’m sure everyone already knows that by now. On top of that we are both very protective of the other one. As much as that can be a good trait, it can cause problems from time to time. So it really isn’t surprising those connections are not formed.

I also feel both of us were born too late. Now trust me I love all the modern amenities of the 21st century, but I think I would enjoy a slower more intimate time. When people had the time to develop relationships and didn’t let EVERYTHING else get in the way of those relationships. Today it just seems like everyone is worried about themselves. Now I’m not saying that you can’t and shouldn’t worry about yourselves but having connections to others makes you a better person in my opinion.

Some times it is a very lonely position to be in. Especially in this day and age with social media, everyone’s actions are documented for other’s to see. We always know when Vivian is not booked and who is or if the Von BS weren’t included in an event. Connecting involves finding one’s niche and neither of us has really found that.

For now we are both content with having one another. At least we can see each other.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Mr. Von B, Vivian | Comments Off

WONDER VIV EPISODE 7

Posted on May 17, 2013 by diary

On the west side of the Scioto River the cloaked figure emerges from the water. Retreating was not something the mysterious figure was planning on. The CDMA was supposed to be an easy op or at least that was the way it was explained when the job was accepted. A quick smash and grab in a sense. Well there was nothing easy about what just happened.

Tonight was chosen because Wonder Viv was at Axis for the fund raiser, which was public knowledge. Wonder Viv performs at most of the fund raisers in Columbus and she rarely misses one. The employer and the cloaked figure were counting on that fact.
The cloaked figure has been watching Wonder Viv for weeks and it was always the same her and the Pug. Those Dobermans have never been seen before tonight, where the hell did they come from. Also how did those 3 dogs act independently of their master and have such team work. The cloaked individual has never seen anything like that before in their life. If this would have been know steps could have possibly been taken to prevent their interference. Instead those 3 dogs foiled the entire operation.

As the figured climbed out of the river they headed further west towards Franklinton. It was late and no one was out. Just then though the figure saw movement to their right and couldn’t believe what they saw. It was those dogs all three of them headed in the same direction.

How did they find me? The cloaked figure thought to themself. The figure quickly focused and turned invisible and watched the dogs. The dogs kept on their path, heading further into West Franklinton.

Interesting. The figure thought. They aren’t after me at all, but where are they going? Wonder Viv is at Axis, why are they in the downtown area. Just then the figured realized where the dogs where going and whispered it to themself “Wonder Viv Studio at 400”. That fact just complicated matters for the cloaked figure but also provided a glimmer of hope.

Focusing on this knowledge was just enough to break their focus and the invisibility was lost. “Damn it’ the figured mumble. Invisibility was still a power they were struggling with. It demands total focus and does not allow use of any other powers or even much movement. This is something the cloaked figure knew they had to improve on. Invisibility would have been quite convenient in something like tonight’s failed attempt to break into the CDMA.

The cloaked figured thought about what they just learned. This will be very useful. I may be able to use it to my advantage in the very near future. I just need to discover exactly what is at Wonder Viv and why they are returning there. The cloaked figure knew there was no sense in heading to their original destination. It was too risky. They could run into those dogs again or worse, Wonder Viv.

So the cloaked figure decided against returning to his base of operations and opted to head to the Short North and have some fun. What type of fun they weren’t sure about, however they knew it would probably not be fun for others that they would run into.
An evil smile came to their face On the west side of the Scioto River the cloaked figure emerges from the water. Retreating was not something the mysterious figure was planning on. The CDMA was supposed to be an easy op or at least that was the way it was explained when the job was accepted. A quick smash and grab in a sense. Well there was nothing easy about what just happened.
Tonight was chosen because Wonder Viv was at Axis for the fund raiser, which was public knowledge. Wonder Viv performs at most of the fund raisers in Columbus and she rarely misses one. The employer and the cloaked figure were counting on that fact.
The cloaked figure has been watching Wonder Viv for weeks and it was always the same her and the Pug. Those Dobermans have never been seen before tonight, where the hell did they come from. Also how did those 3 dogs act independently of their master and have such team work. The cloaked individual has never seen anything like that before in their life. If this would have been know steps could have possibly been taken to prevent their interference. Instead those 3 dogs foiled the entire op.
As the figured climbed out of the river they headed further west towards Franklinton. It was late and no one was out. Just then though the figure saw movement to their right and couldn’t believe what they saw. It was those dogs all three of them headed in the same direction.
How did they find me? The cloaked figure thought to themself. The figure quickly focused and turned invisible and watched the dogs. The dogs kept on their path, heading further into West Franklinton.
Interesting. The figure thought. They aren’t after me at all, but where are they going? Wonder Viv is at Axis, why are they in the downtown area. Just then the figured realized where the dogs where going and whispered it to themself “Wonder Viv Studio at 400”. That fact just complicated matters for the cloaked figure but also provided a glimmer of hope.
Focusing on this knowledge was just enough to break their focus and the invisibility was lost. “Damn it’ the figured mumble. Invisibility was still a power they were struggling with. It demands total focus and does not allow use of any other powers or even much movement. This is something the cloaked figure knew they had to improve on. Invisibility would have been quite convenient in something like tonight’s failed attempt to break into the CDMA.
The cloaked figured thought about what they just learned. This will be very useful. I may be able to use it to my advantage in the very near future. I just need to discover exactly what is at Wonder Viv and why they are returning there. The cloaked figure knew there was no sense in heading to their original destination. It was too risky. They could run into those dogs again or worse, Wonder Viv.
So the cloaked figure decided against returning to his base of operations and opted to head to the Short North and have some fun. What type of fun they weren’t sure about, however they knew it would probably not be fun for others that they would run into.

An evil smile came to their face as they took off towards the Short North.as they took off towards the Short North.

Posted in Wonder Viv | Tagged 400, Axis, Rambo Pugs, Short North, The Coconut Twins, Wonder Viv | Comments Off

Drag Husband Survival Guide

Posted on May 16, 2013 by diary

So I have told you what I learned being married to a Drag Queen and also debunked 10 myths about Drag Queens. All that got me thinking I should write a survival guide for any current or future Drag Husband. Think of me as your Drag Husband Jedi. Every good Jedi has a master though, so I turned to my Drag Husband Jedi for a little help. Drag Husbands long before Mr. Von B was even around. A huge thank you to my friends Mr. Bedd and Big n Tasty for their help with this Drag Husband Survival Guide.

Now to me there is a difference between some one who is married to a Drag Queen and a Drag Husband. Some one who is married to Drag Queen does not have as much of an active role in their Queen’s life. Yes, they’ll attend most shows and I’m sure give advice when needed, however they are more in the background. A Drag Husband is at every show or at least 99 % of shows and has an active role. Drag Husbands help with a lot of the planning, promoting and running of shows along with every day decisions about Drag. I’m not saying one is better than the other. What ever works for the couple is what is the most important.

No matter what type of husband you are, being married to a Drag Queen can be difficult hence the reason for the following Drag Husband Survival Guide:

Know when to talk and when to just listen.

Wear clothes with extra pockets to hold lipgloss, cigarettes, powder puffs, stage accessories and tips. Just because she has a purse, don’t assume she wants to use it. Think of investing in a Drag Utility Belt.

Things said in the heat of the moment are just that, it’s your job to employ the 24 hour rule prior to reacting.

Print the lineup, orchestrate the lineup and remember the lineup.

Always remember what the dates are of her upcoming shows.

Distract her with something shiny if she starts to stress about anything. Drag is supposed to be fun and it’s your job to do whatever it takes to keep it that way.

Speak only for yourself and make this clear. Some people assume what you’re saying is what she’s thinking.

Know where her drink is and have it ready for her as she exits the stage.

Watch her performances and gauge audience response, sometimes it’s hard to see past a spotlight. You’d be amazed what you can hear when nobody knows who you are. Audiences often times may enjoy a number but not feel comfortable walking up to tip an entertainer.

Constructive criticism needs to be cautiously offered (very cautiously).

Be able to carry rolling suitcases, bags of props, a make up case, purse, wig heads with very large wigs and all personal belongings for both you and she so that the Drag Queen is able to make a proper entrance and meet & greet with the customers, bar staff and other entertainers.

Never throw any of HER DRAG away. As soon as you want to throw away a prop unused for several seasons, or a sparkly piece of fabric, or an outfit she no longer wears, or a hamper full of hair or a piece of broken jewelry, inevitably that is precisely what she was planning to wear for her next performance.

Do not EVER suggest she does not need new drag, a queen always needs something new no matter how much they have.

Under no circumstances do you ever rush a Drag Queen. Drag Time and Real Time are not the same thing.

Do not react to comments said about her. Part of performing is putting oneself out there and people some times will be negative. It’s not personal and you have to remember that.

Be sure to always have dollar bills on you when she is performing especially if it is a new venue or crowd. Sometimes it only takes one person to tip first before the rest of the audience will tip. Be that first person when needed.

Be her #1 FAN.

Always remember what you say and do is a reflection of her and for some Queens her drag family. Do nothing that can harm that image.

Shows start late in the evening, be prepared for late and sometimes long evenings.

Popularity and success comes from being seen. This means multiple nights a week of being out for shows, which means not only her shows but other Queen’s as well.

Support not just your Queen but others as well. It’s important to not only her but the drag community as a whole.

Is she is “not feeling drag” on any given night you may be required to pick out outfits and music. Plus have those set and ready to go for the next number when she comes off stage. You don’t want her to use any more energy then required on those nights or it could turn bad in your favor.

Know your venues so the best costuming and music can be chosen so the crowd will respond.

If it seems she is doing multiple shots at a given venue, supply a “chaser or beer”. That way if she feels the shot is not something she likes or she can’t do another shot, while on stage, she can recycle it into the chaser or beer bottle, so everyone thinks she has finished the shot.

It is always your responsibility to make sure she has EVERYTHING she needs before she leaves the house, this includes but not limited to music, costumes, sashes, crowns, extra outfits, corsets and jewelry. Even if she says she has everything it is still your responsibility. If you don’t you could be in store for some extra drives home to pick these items back up for any important show or event.

At the end of the day it’s just men in dresses.

So there you have it a Survival Guide to being a Drag Husband. Some of these tips are easier than others to master. So save this Survival Guide, find your Queen and be the best Drag Husband you can be. May the drag be with you.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Drag, Drag Husband, Drag Queen, Drag Time | Comments Off

Dragopoly

Posted on May 15, 2013 by diary

There are honestly times I just don’t understand the game of drag. I was originally going to use the word “world” but the more I thought about it ‘game’ is much more suited to what drag really is. Being involved in the drag in any capacity is like playing a real life game of Dragopoly.

Everyone involved in drag is trying to gather as much property, hotels and cash that they can. For dragopoly property equals bookings on a regular basis. Once properties are obtained in dragopoly it’s time to start building hotels. Hotels in Dragopoly equal a fan base. In Dragopoly though it is possible to build your hotels before having any property, when this happens property comes quicker and easier.

In Dragopoly the one thing you don’t want to do is draw the go straight to jail card/do not collect $200. In this game being sent to jail is harder to get out of then just skipping the next turn. While in jail in Dragopoly you can’t purchase property or build hotels. With out property or hotels you can not get out of jail. To get out of jail in Dragopoly you need a bar or show director decides to bail you out. A bail out in Dragopoly is multiple bookings. Unfortunately that can leave you waiting several turns, which then makes it even harder to purchase property and start building hotels.

In Dragopoly every player hopes to draw the Chance card “Booking”. This card allows players to purchase any property they like and to build hotels without any cash. The “Booking” card is equivalent to many rolls of the dice. When some one draws the “Booking” card they can name bookings at the venue of their choosing. If you draw the “Booking” card you have won Dragopoly.

Along with the Chance “Booking” card there is the Community Chest card “Fundraiser”. This card can be a double edge sword. When this card is drawn it can increases your ability to purchase property and build hotels. However it can also decrease your ability to do this. On rare occasions your will continuously draw the “Fundraiser” card leading to never acquiring property and hotels which keeps you behind the other players of the game.

Knowing not only the rules but the odds of Dragopoly is extremely important to learn before playing. Keep in mind though in Dragopoly the rules can change at a moments notice and end you in jail till the end of the game. Dragopoly can be a ton of fun but just as frustrating depending on how you are rolling the dice. So good luck and let the dice roll where they may.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Bookings, chance, Drag, Drag Queen | Comments Off

My Qui-Gon Jinn

Posted on May 13, 2013 by diary

With yesterday being Mother’s Day I thought it would be appropriate to post a diary entry about my mom.

  Where do I even begin? To me, like every other son or daughter out there, I think my mom is AMAZING. I unfortunately did not see this when I was younger. However I don’t think we start to realize just how amazing our parents are until we get older. Some times that realization doesn’t come until we loose a parent. For me that happened when my father passed away. It was at that time I realized just how incredible both of my parents are.

When my dad passed away I have to honestly say I was fearful that it was just a matter of time before we would loose mom. Not because my mom is in bad health but because she was heart broken. I thought she would just give up on life. I truly believe the only reason that we didn’t was because my younger sister was 4 months pregnant with her first grandchildren, The Jedi. (For those who don’t know why I call them The Jedi let me explain. Mr. Von B is a HUGE Star Wars fan and when my sister told me she was pregnant with twins, a boy and girl, I immediately said “Like Luke & Leia” and started referring to them as The Jedi instead of the twins or the babies. They are my Jedi and I am their Obi Wan.) I believe my little Jedi used their force powers to be my mom’s life line and I’m very thankful for that.

Just like with my Dad, my mom and I were never particularly close as I was growing up. Now remember this has NOTHING to do with either of them. It was just how I was. There is a part of me that feels subconsciously I always knew I was different and not knowing how I was different I kept myself guarded even from my parents. Please don’t take this to mean my parents weren’t there for me, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. There was nothing and I mean nothing either of them wouldn’t do for me, especially my mom.

My mom is one of, if not the strongest person, I know. As much as my dad would have liked to think he ran the family it was really my mom and I’m sure if my dad was still alive to read this he would agree. My mom kept our family on track and was always there supporting my dad, my sister and me. No matter how much she had to do between her lesson plans, grading papers or taking care of the house she was always there for us.

My mom was the one who really pushed me academically as I was growing up. My dad pushed as well but my mom was a school teacher and really saw my potential and wanted me to fulfill it. There were times I would say she pushed too hard and she would agree. Even to this day I push myself to be the best in EVERYTHING, some times getting in the way of me enjoying what ever it is I’m attempting to accomplish. However it is that drive that as allowed me to accomplish everything I have and that drive came from my mom.

She has a way of seeing into a person’s heart and knowing who they really are. I wish I would have known that when I was with my ex. No matter how much mom was polite and kind towards him I could tell she never really liked him. I always thought it was just because she blamed him for me not finishing school or being gay. However in reality it was because she knew he was just not a good person and especially not good for me. Even though I didn’t see it my mom was always there to listen and let me live my life and make the mistakes that need made so one can learn from and grow. When that relationship ended and ended badly my mom was there to pick me up. She knew just want to say to make me feel better and to pick myself up and face life again.

So when my dad passed I knew I had to do the same for my mom, in truth though my mom was the one who kept all of us going. I as already stated my mom was heart broken and yes she had moments where she would loose it, but I think knowing that she had not only her son and daughter, but 2 son-in-laws and 2 little grandchildren out there forced her to hold it together and face life without my dad.

I know it hasn’t been easy for her but like I said my mom is strong, stronger than I think she will every realized. What I have seen her accomplish on her own over the last 3 years has been nothing short of amazing. Part of the reason I was able to deal with my dad’s death was her. I knew I had to be there for her plus I drew on her strength. If she should deal with it and move on with her life how could I not?

Words can’t express what my mom means to me. She has always accepted me for who I am even when I made it difficult for her to. She has always been there for me even when I attempted to push her away. I love you for everything you have done for me and continue to do for not only me but our entire family.

If I am Obi Wan to The Jedi, you are my Qui-Gon Jinn.

Posted in Diary | Tagged mom, Mother's Day, Obi-wan, Qui-Gon Jinn, Star Wars, The Jedi | Comments Off

Wonder Viv Episode 6

Posted on May 10, 2013 by diary

Backstage at Axis Night Club Wonder Viv turned the transmitter off and turned to Mr. Von B. “Well were the boys successful?” Mr. Von B asked.

“For the most part, they stopped who or what broke into CDMA and none of the mutants were released. However they got away and I’m not sure Director Monke is too pleased with me right now.” Wonder Viv said as she began to pack up her drag.

Mr. Von B in his typical fashion replied “Well screw him. You had two choices do nothing or send the boys to help. You did what you could and if that wasn’t good enough for him that’s his problem not ours.”

Wonder Viv smiled at Mr. Von B. She thought to herself that she was extremely lucky to have him in her life. Most husbands can’t deal with having a drag queen in their lives let alone a super powered one. Who would have thought 3.5 years ago their lives would change so much. Not Wonder Viv for sure and she knew Mr. Von B didn’t either. She was just glad that through it all the powers, the mutants, the CDMA and the popularity that they were going through it together.

“So we need to go see Mr. H next weekend to pick up the latest order and the Wonder Tank.” She told Mr. Von B as she zipped up her last garment bag and picked them up and headed to the door. Wonder Viv knew her next sentence would not be received very well, part of the reason she waited to tell Mr. Von B until they were out in public. “Plus we need to rent a large load flat bed to bring the Wonder Tank back to Columbus.” Even though she is a super power Dragazon she doesn’t enjoy Mr. Von B’s lectures on the amount of money she spends. She knows he is right hence why the lectures bother her so much.

Mr. Von B turned his back towards Wonder Viv he didn’t want her to see his facial expression and him rolling his eyes. Every time he does Wonder Viv takes the opportunity to turn the discussion away from what she did and how Mr. Von B reacts to it. “So when were you planning on telling me about the flat bed? The day we were headed to Mr. H’s?”

Wonder Viv smiled “Whatever do you mean? I just told you.”

The two of them exited Axis and Wonder Viv knew there was no stopping the lecture. She just hoped it wasn’t one his soap box ones, which they frequently are.

Mr. Von B was really trying not to explode. He knew it really didn’t solve anything but he felt the only way Wonder Viv heard him was if he got excited. Just as Mr. Von B was about to explode some one yelled “Wonder Viv, great job tonight!!!!” Both Mr. Von B and Wonder Viv turned to see Nina West, Columbus’s most popular drag queen, standing outside Axis talking to some fans. Wonder Viv headed over and Mr. Von followed.

“Thanks Mama” Wonder Viv leaned in and and gave Nina a hug. “You killed it tonight as always. When is your next show?”

Nina answered “June 1st & 2nd, Partners in Crime the duo show with Virginia. Let me know if you want a table. Well I need to get back inside for my hot spot. Let’s do lunch this week or next?” Nina and Wonder Viv gave each other one final hug.

“Sounds like a plan I’ll text you tomorrow” Nina went back into Axis and Wonder Viv and Mr. Von B continued to walk to the car. Wonder Viv was hoping that little distraction was enough to save her, she was wrong.

“So why the hell do we need to rent a flat bed. Can’t you just fly down there and carry back with you? Or can’t Mr. H rent one and deliver it?”

Wonder Viv wasn’t quite ready for that. “Well I don’t even know if I could lift something that heavy we haven’t really tested the limits of my strength and flight and I don’t plan on testing it with 20 ton tank. Plus why should Mr. H have to rent the flat bed and drive it up, we ordered it. Our responsibility to get it back to Columbus.”

“Correction YOU ordered it. We didn’t order it” Mr. Von B responded as they reached the car and unlocked the doors. “And maybe you should have thought of that before you ordered the damn thing. But of course in typical Vivian fashion you didn’t. Fine we’ll rent a damn flat bed. Next time just order a damn plane.”

Wonder Viv smiled “So are you saying I can order the Wonder Plane? Because you know that’s what I heard.”

Mr. Von B rolled his eyes “You know damn well that isn’t what I said. Now start the damn car and let’s get to the lair to make sure the boys are okay.”

Wonder Viv leaned over and kissed Mr. Von B as she drove off towards the Wonder Lair, thinking how much she loved her man.

Posted in Wonder Viv | Tagged Axis, Mr. Von B, Nina West, Wonder Viv | Comments Off

OPERATION ANGER FREE

Posted on May 9, 2013 by diary

It’s amazing what can happen when attending a drag show. Last night Vivian performed in Virginia West’s Birthday Bash at Union Café. Before the show started I ran into some friends and we started to discuss some things and my one friend said something Vivian has been telling me for years “Let go of that anger. It’s a waste of time and energy.”

Both of them are 100 % correct if I want to be a happier person, which is my biggest goal for this year, the only way I can do that is letting go of all this anger that I hold in my heart. So today on Facebook I posted the question on how to let go of anger. I got some much needed and great advice.

One piece of advice that I received that I do quite often is giving people the power over me to make me angry. When I was younger I used to not care what people thought. If you didn’t like me so be it, my life would go on and I wouldn’t let that affect me being happy or not. I also wouldn’t let getting along with some one affect either. Then I met my ex and that all changed. I began to worry about what people thought and if they liked me or not. I also started to obsess over how many friends I had or who those friends were. You know what? NO MORE, if you don’t like me or how I act that is your problem not mine. If we don’t like it each other or get along who cares. I refuse to let that affect me anymore. We only have a finite amount of time on this earth and honestly there isn’t enough time to focus on those people.

The next piece of advice I received was to forgive not just for them but for me and that is so true. I have always felt if some one wronged you or pissed you off, whether perceived or real, it was a sign of weakness to forgive them. All that does is add to the amount of anger I carry in my life. Carrying all that anger has just made me unhappy and does not affect the other individuals at all. Sometimes though to forgive you have to apologize.

I began that process this morning. I sent a text to someone that meant a lot to me, who hurt me. I apologized for my behavior over the last few months. I’m not expecting us to go back to how we were but I needed to apologize to forgive him and release the anger I have been holding onto when it came to him. To anyone else I have had a falling out with, whether perceived or real, I apologize. It’s time for me to move pass the anger and just live the best life I can.

The last piece I received was that there are people out that love me for whom I am now and that is so right. I have an incredible husband who even though with all my baggage, anger and pessimistic view of life loves me with all his heart. Add to that my mom, sister and Jedi who support me unconditionally and know who I truly am.

So here’s to working on living my life anger free. With the support of my family and hopefully new and old friends I know I can accomplish this.

Posted in Diary | Tagged anger, Vivian Von Brokenhymen | Comments Off

Drag Utility Belt

Posted on May 8, 2013 by diary

So I think I need to have Vivian’s costumer designer, Patrick Howell, make me a Drag Utility Belt. Now I have to admit this idea is was not mine originally. It was suggested by a friend a couple of weeks ago when Vivian and I were at Union watching Nina West perform. Vivian was trying to help Nina with one of her costumes and I joked to our friend that was a job for a drag husband. I told our friend that I could have had that clasp closed in no time. He proceeded to joke about me having a drag utility belt.

The more I thought about it the idea the more I liked it. I can see it now pouches for different types of pins, spirit gum, tape and holsters for scissors and other needed tools. My utility belt would also allow me to hold Vivian’s keys, tips and iPhone since I’m the holder of these items while she is performing. Of course I would have to have the Wonder Viv logo on the front. I’m envisioning this as a drag version of Batman’s utility belt.

I will always be at the ready to help Vivian or any Queen she is performing with at a moment’s notice. I will become a hero to all the Columbus Drag Queens. Maybe even a legend among Queens.

I can see it now long after Vivian leaves the Columbus Ohio drag scene they will still be talking about Mr. Von B and his Drag Utility Belt.

Mr. Von B coming the rescue of Drag Queens every where.

Posted in Diary | Tagged Batman, Nina West, Union Cafe, Vivian Von Brokenhymen | Comments Off